52 Cuisines?

Cantonese Food at Palais de Chine

Have I broken my own rules here? I just don’t know anymore.

For a great many British people, Chinese food starts and ends with Cantonese food, or what they believe to be Cantonese food. In every small town around the country, there is a “Chinese Chippy”, which is essentially just a fish and chip shop but with added extras such as fried rice, “lemon chicken” and something I once ordered from a small town chippy before I had any kind of real Chinese knowledge: “drunken dragon” because let’s face it, it would be rude not to.

More knowledgeable Brits will know about dim sum but would be astonished to learn that in Chinatown (Well, Manchester’s at least) there are two dim sum menus. One for non-Chinese that has about two pages, and another for the Chinese clientele which is like a phone book (Ahh, young people won’t know what that is. Encyclopedia? No, they are all online now… ooh I know! Leather bound Bible or Quran). I remember finding this out when I was eating with my oldest Taiwanese friend and at that time classmate, Miss Hsiao when I still lived there.

Maybe it is because of the historical links with Hong Kong, or it is best suited to the traditionally limited British palette. Either way, the scope of what is known at home Chinese food as a whole is pretty limited. I was actually going to ask my cohort The Conquering Lion of Sanchong’s missus for her advice on good Canto food in Taipei, as she herself is a keen cook, Hong Kong native and has one of the biggest hearts known to mankind. I was also going to eat it a bit later in the year, as I had deemed it not too hard to find. However, fate got in the way and plans changed.

Tonight we went out for a posh Cantonese meal at a posh hotel that as far as I can work out was because of a tax dodge or something in Mrs. Bao’s office. Round my way, a tax dodge would typically involve a suitcase full of money locked in the back of a clapped out 1988 Mark II Ford Fiesta, and you would normally pay off some of the local scallies to dump said vehicle into a lake. Taiwan it seems is more civilized, and when companies want to dump a bunch of money they should have spent earlier in the year, they don’t muck around with luggage and old cars: they simply go all out and send entire departments out to restaurants and mark it down as “expenses”. I have no way of calculating how much dinner cost tonight, as it was a huge do, with lots of people- but I know my 500NT budget wouldn’t cover it. Not in a trillion years. The non-set menu confirmed this; 500NT would not cover a single dish.

Palais de Chine near Taipei Main Station is the first hotel I’ve ever been to that as far as I know has a restaurant that is Michelin starred. 3 To be exact. A quick look online told me there is a dress code. This is somewhat of a novelty in Taiwan because as an island, it is the most dress down location you could ever visit. The typical office worker looks like they are at home on Saturday morning (though some women do go in dressed to the nines). Your average restaurant doesn’t care either way. Even weddings would confuse Western people, as the only people dressed up nice are the bride and groom, groom and groom, bride and bride *please delete where necessary* and their parents, everyone else looks like they just got off the sofa. With this in mind, you should not be surprised by how many local men do not know how to tie a tie. So out came my Sunday best, which had been in mothballs.

The online menu said to me that the place is far too good for us, and it might be better if we hang out eating scraps with the serfs in the kitchens. The prices are also astronomical for a young writer/ family man living by his wits, so we decided to milk it for all it was worth, hoping that it wasn’t all fur coat and no knickers.

<quick intake of breath>There were certainly knickers, Not the cheap nasty stuff that would go up like a Christmas tree next to a flame either. No, we’re talking the finest bespoke lingerie fit for a glamorous movie star. We were worlds away from “drunken dragon” and regular dim sum here. In a world where some people feel they can no longer trust experts, I tell you now, those Michelin people know their stuff.

I took a picture of our private room. We are on the 17th floor here, which means it is the first restaurant I’ve been to during all this which has a view. Behind the table there that was an extremely high end bathroom, and to the right was a door that led to a kitchen area / where the waiters would come in and out (very good service, miraculously appearing when needed completely unobtrusive).

I counted 15 courses, and I’m not going to go through them one by one because I will run out of adjectives and superlatives. Seriously it is in my top five meals of all time and would actually probably be top if only judged on food. It only slipped down the ranks slightly because I didn’t really know the people I was with (except the missus/ daughter), and that ain’t the restaurant’s fault. And the other meals at the top are tied in with specific times in my life/events which hold particular meaning.

OK, I’ll give it a bash with some of the bigger highlights.

First up, roast pork

Next, a bit of theatre while they prepared roast duck

Then we had a procession of dum sum things, finishing with crispy duck pancakes.

Every single thing on the table was incredible. That is really all I can say. Not a thing out of place.

I didn’t really talk much; the room was colleagues and young kids. I usually go to hang out at the kids tables in these events because my Chinese/Taiwanese is terrible and I get to be the fun uncle. Tonight though, I was just in quiet awe. First about the location and second that they hadn’t thought I was casing the joint.

So in the end it had been a true belt ripper, if this was normal it would be bread and water for the remainder of the year, while I paid off the bill. I don’t think it will be repeated for obvious reasons, but If you have the money, and you have a very significant anniversary coming up (your 20^th wedding anniversary upwards, not like the 7^th or “it has been one year since I gave up eating crisps!”) I don’t know how you could mark it any better.

Address: No. 3號, Section 1, Chengde Road, Datong District, Taipei City, 103 (Part of the Q Square building behind Taipei Main Station)

Prices: if you have to ask you can’t afford 😉

Very easy to get to, Taipei Main Station is probably the busiest MRT, rail, bus hub in the country

Taiwan meeting in 2020, my crew being monitored for high temperatures in the lobby.

Burmese Food at 諾貝爾小吃店

Today’s foray into the culinary depths is not so much one particular restaurant, but an area which is dominated by one kind of food. The Nanshijiao area in Zhonghe is home to the Burmese community and what is called in Chinese “Myanmar Street”. Uninterestingly enough, my very first job in Taiwan was in Nanshijiao at a godforsaken cram school, and in those days, the area was devoid of pretty much anything. In recent years, it has come a long way and I’ve visited several Christmases in a row because Mrs. Bao’s friend bought a house there and she holds nice Christmas shindigs. On one of those occasions I infamously won the New Taipei City Firefighters calendar in Secret Santa, which was definitely a feast for the eyes for a certain audience.

For many years, the end of the orange MRT line was disconnected to anything so many Taipei people came to believe their counterparts in Zhonghe were somehow backwards and worshipped fire. As the first section of the Circle Line is now complete you can now go easily from the Capital of Culture (Dapinglin) to behind the Binlang Curtain (Jingan, one stop away from Nanshijiao) without having to trek into the city first. Which is a good thing for the people of Zhonghe, though I worry enlightenment is happening too quickly and their worship of the olde gods will soon be a thing of the past. What price progress, eh?

I brought Kenny Asbestos with me today, a friend that I sporadically get to see. I can see him several times in a month, then not see him again in the flesh for two years, then see him again several times in a two week period. My guess is nothing actually interesting has been happening; he’s probably just been sat on his arse playing games or watching TV.

Kenny works as a translator, and owes his entire career down to the fact that at school one day, he’d been messing around in class and had to go to a lunchtime detention. It was in another building, and it was raining so he couldn’t be bothered to attend and took refuge in another classroom where there was a meeting about a student exchange to Hong Kong. For whatever reason, our hero stuck around, applied for the program and by some twist of fate got on it- and thus learned Chinese.

Kenny had lost weight since I last saw him. Me too, apparently. Which is to say that according to him I had also lost weight, rather than Kenny being so threatened about women feeling empowered to speak out about harassment, that he lost weight. Nevertheless, he had heard about Little Burma before and had been curious. He also lives not too far away, so everyone wins.

We have to thank the all-seeing, all knowing Crispy Pete for pointing us in the direction of the restaurant we visited today. Crispy also pointed out that the restaurants in this area have very odd opening hours. It is not unusual to find them closed at 6pm, so a word to the wise- go mid afternoon. I know them as either no 26 Burma Street or whatever. A quick translation from Kenny told us our venue today 諾貝爾小吃店 translates as “Nobel” like the prize.

As you can tell from my hastily taken photo of what was on offer here, it is not anything special to look at. The only oddness for us at least (we see Chinese every day of our lives) was the Burmese script which both of us were not sure how it reads, is it left to right? Right to left? It has that same effect as when you first see Thai writing, or a black guy with a Scottish accent, your mind flips and just says “No information. No information”.

We ordered a lamb curry, this was because I rarely get to eat lamb in Taiwan, I can’t remember if I wrote this tit bit already, but local people have an issue with how lamb/mutton smells. As communal eating is the norm and we share meals, I can’t order lamb because Mrs. Bao can’t abide it. Also Kenny is from New Zealand, and they’d probably never let him back in if he didn’t. As always, we done good. Really good flavor, with a herb thing going on we couldn’t place, it was spicy with the potential to build, but didn’t. 140NT. We ordered a rice dish that had peanuts and small shrimp (actually we had wanted the more exotic rice with tea leaves- but they’d sold out) amazing stuff. The peanuts gave an unpredictable crunch to the rice that reads a bit strangely if I look back, but it really works (100NT). Even he liked it and he professed at the beginning that he doesn’t care for peanuts or their flavor.

We needed a bit of veg in there somewhere so we ordered a spicy salad that we were warned was medium level spicy. God help us if we ever experience what the guys in the restaurant consider “hot”.

Ridiculously spicy “no it’s medium honestly’. salad

Next came the scarily luminous drink that was advertised as “orchid” something. Being the avant-garde gents we jumped on that. This was a bit of a poser; it tasted like some sweets/candy from when we were kids, or a kind of ice cream that you had once but the past is cloudy. Really good, with the spiciness of everything.

We chatted about this, that and the other. Tuvalu was mentioned as was the heat which was at 37C this afternoon. As we were hanging around like bad smells, we also opted for some tamarind juice, an odd choice and not something I would choose to buy again, but wouldn’t refuse if offered.

As the afternoon wound down, I told him about my latest crackpot scheme to earn money, and we attempted to find the location of my first job in Taiwan but drew a blank. He swore he would be back on Burma Street again in the near future and out with me again on one of my restaurant shenanigans.

All in all, a cheap, worthwhile and sweaty experience- write your own damn punch line.

諾貝爾小吃店 48 Huaxin Street

Nearest MRT: Nanshijao exit 4 then a bit of a walk. When you start seeing Burmese script on shop fronts you are there.

I know I was going to write part 2 of Iranian special- but as I reported earlier, I found that place on the off chance and I had already arranged to meet Kenny for this a few weeks back. Plus, he had promised to have a window in his hectic schedule of playing online games and laughing at stuff.

Iranian Food Special (part 1)

Apologies for having nothing on these pages over the last week. As I have alluded to recently, I’ve moved house. This has disrupted my main reason for getting up in the mornings i.e. writing this bilge and getting cheap laughs aimed at myself and the people who come out with me. I don’t foresee any particular breaks on the horizon, but real life gets in the way, particularly if you aren’t 25 anymore.

So, I had a very mundane lunch which was so standard, that if it was a colour it would be called “beige extreme” and thus, not at all worth a comment. I needed to get some deodorant and shower gel from the supermarket nearby as the offending items that I had brought from the former pad were probably hiding somewhere in a box with expired medicines, wires and coat hangers somewhere in Preschooler Bao’s bedroom.

I hadn’t really investigated my new area yet, apart from working out where the bus stop was, where the recycling faeries congregate and which of the town houses are abandoned so I can have a project for when I finally do win the lottery (I use my free time wisely as you can see) I figured it was time to get out my deerstalker and magnifying glass. The building that houses the supermarket also has a few other shop units, a florist for one, and various other shops which look like side projects for rich women. Getting to the end of my circle I happened upon an Iranian place, which is run by a lovely lady who hasn’t told me her name yet. She asked if I was hungry, and I’ll be honest I was a bit disappointed with myself for eating banality in a box so I had to decline and took her name card with the promise I’d be back. As an aside, I freaked her out on my return as I’d shaved my head in the meantime and she didn’t recognize me 🙂

Right now, Muslims across the world are observing Ramadan, which I imagine to be tricky enough at the best of times, but with scary virus and a pretty brutal early Taiwanese summer, no doubt it is a true test of faith. As the Islamic community here is relatively small (aside from the Indonesian housemaids, Malaysians etc.), I assumed that the community aspect is also a bit lost. It had been only the second time I’d heard anyone in Taiwan refer to Eid ul Fitr with its Arabic name rather than the more common Indonesian language Hari Raya.

Anyway, I went home and checked out her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/foroshgaheirani and noticed an amazing Iftar menu, which I had to try. Iftar if you aren’t familiar with the term is the meal eaten when day has ended and the faithful can now eat as the fast has ended until sunrise.

I have yet to try the Iftar menu, which you can see pictured here- I aim to cajole some victims to join me in the near future, and we have to make a reservation anyway so today I just had some afternoon snacks. A kind of scone, and what looks like Iranian shortbread with dates inside. Scone plus three shortbread= 85NT. Like all Middle Eastern food, they were pretty sweet, my understanding is that folk in the ME often have a very sweet tooth due to alcohol being haram, and they take up sugar as a vice.

We chatted briefly, I was keen to ask her about the difficulty of doing Ramadan in the current climate and she told me that last year was worse as it was closer to summer, and was slightly taken aback that a tall white boy like me was so au fait with Islam.

Anyway, stay tuned for part two where I actually have something to review and talk about and not just a wee update thingy.

The photos are taken from her facebook page, because mine were pretty crap. Again, when I follow up you’ll hopefully see some nice stuff.

Philippine Food- Cres-Art Philippine Cuisine

I briefly mentioned the Philippine community last time I was out and about “reviewing” Latin American cuisine, i.e. they are centered roughly in one place. Today a bit more detail on that and my “too bizarre it can only be true” connection to The Philippines as well as food somewhere along the lines. I guarantee that what I write in this case is 100% true, which might not necessarily be the case with some of what I write here.

Like many a country around the world, we have our fair share of Filipino migrant workers, who usually work as caregivers for the elderly, they are generally treated pretty well, though you occasionally hear horror stories about terrible bosses, bad working conditions (as with all migrant workers, sadly) etc., for all I know it may be more frequent than reported, but my understanding is that on balance it is not a particularly bad gig in Taiwan, as opposed to the horror stories which are reported out of the Middle East, but the hours are brutal. They are on call pretty much 23hours a day, with only Sundays as a day off, where, if they are religious they will go to church in the area I visited today, maybe send money back to people at home and see people who speak mother tongue for the first time in a week. If they are lucky, they may meet other such workers in the park on another day when they are wheeling an old Taiwanese grandpa around in his chair. They usually speak English perfectly well though phrased differently and are often degree educated, but this work pays more than back home so… whatever their case, they do get homesick for food.

the different bladed weapons of The Philippines. Also food.

Their cuisine from my scant observations from my former roommate (more on this in a minute), is one of obvious poverty. They clearly make do with whatever they have, but do so with a lot of pride. Talking with a maid about adobo and she will give a beaming yet forlorn smile about the island she is from.

Anyway, why I came to Cres-Art today was due to the recommendation of my former roommate and all round good egg Mr. Johnny Five Names, because he does in fact have five legal names in Taiwan. He is Phil/Chinese and they escaped The Philippines in the days when it was a good place to be and Taiwan was terrible. There is some backstory there as well, but that is not my story to tell, you’d have to ask him. For the first few months his dad had regretted the move, and were actually about to go back when the regime changed and it all fell apart. The family speak about five languages Chinese, Taiwanese, English (mother was an English teacher), Tagalog and Cebuano often in the same conversation, so it is a good bet that only they know what they what they are talking about if you try to follow, they and a few other families who followed from Cebu (the originals all know each other).

Now, I arrived here in 2004 and was looking for a place to live and my oldest Taiwanese friend Miss Hsiao, was helping me find a place to live. She found this one ad for 8000 a month in the downtown area, a little pricey in those days, but no bills. “It says he speaks English” she said, so off we went.

His place (which he owned) was pretty darned nice and I thought to myself “Yep, I can live here” so I moved in a few days later. So far so normal. Over the coming months people were coming in and out of our house, at odd times, he would disappear odd weekends and it was clear Johnny had no job. I started thinking “hmmm, nice house, no job, people in and out- this guy must be a crack dealer or something” but I let it slide.

One day we were walking in Ximen with his brothers and people were pointing at us a lot. People do still point at me, even in 2020, as I walk the streets because, taller than average white man, shaved head and I do stand out. That day seemed more than usual so I said:

“Man I’m getting pointed at a lot today”

“No, they aren’t pointing at you, they are pointing at US”

“Why? What makes you so special?”

A big sigh … and then the bombshell.

“Well, we weren’t going to say anything, but we used to be really famous here”

“What the..?”

And then they took me to Rose Records, and showed me all their bestselling pop albums. Yep, I was living with a faded pop star. And it all began to click. He had advertised his place somewhere where Taiwanese people wouldn’t find it and I was perfect, because I clearly had no idea. He just wanted someone living in his house because he had got lonely since his ex had moved out. It turns out I had met several major stars in Taiwan who were round my house and I had no clue who they were, I just remember them either being nice or they couldn’t speak English.

I stayed there another 1.5 years and I remember sitting down with him at around 2am when I was courting the future Mrs. Bao and said “Do you think we should tell her? It looks like she is going to be a long term gf”

“Yeah, sure. We can trust her.”

We told her, and went through the same disbelief rigmarole I went through, until he took off his glasses and she went “OMG! * something in a very high pitch in Chinese that I can’t remember*”

Fun, if often confusing times.

Back to the food. I felt I’d not been eating enough fish recently so I thought I should, come hell or high water eat a fish dish today. I didn’t want to do the macho bravado of hey “check me out ladeez, I’m such a badass I’VE eaten balut”. I was actually hungry and not some idiot frat boy. The food here is cheap, reflecting the clientele so I was able to afford a few more things than usual, but my trip got cut short due to real life circumstances I won’t go into here. I was only able to have pasiw na bangus a fish dish, in a sort of spicy broth, sweet potatoes and garlic. I had the set which was added rice and non-descript veg. I really liked it, just honest family style cooking and only 135NT for the set, the cheapest I’ve had during this project, though that was expected.

The vibe of the pace was probably more interesting than the food. Hearing ladies natter away in Tagalog is an interesting diversion from hearing Chinese all day. The décor was a bit mismatched and the seating was cheap, but it just felt right for where I was. The people working there were very friendly, chatty and interested in me choosing that dish above others, where I’m from etc. I get those questions a lot from Taiwanese people, but I dunno hearing the same rote questions from another group of people seemed more interesting to me.

I’m definitely going to go back, it isn’t really fair to go off just one dish and just me dining there. I had wanted to try maja mais aka maja blanca which is a kind of coconut pudding however time didn’t allow. Plus, it is stupidly cheap, and very enjoyable.

Pasiw na bangus set 135NT

Address: No. 25, Lane 28, Shuangcheng Street, Zhongshan District, Taipei City, 10491

MRT: Minquan W. Road Station exit 9 and then about a five minute walk.

Latin Flavors- Hola Caribbean Kitchen

We live in bubbles. We all have our communities where we hang out and feel comfortable. In Taipei, Linsen North Road has traditionally been the Japanese community, the Filipino community on Zhongshan North Road near to the wedding shops, the Burmese in Nanshijiao and possibly the friendliest gay community I’ve ever come across (oo-er missus) is located in Ximending. Until today, I had no idea that the Latin American community is centered around the Yongan Market MRT area. Of course I knew there were Latin people here, I’ve had several students from Honduras, Mexico, Brazil and a few others I can’t remember now, but never knew there was a central hub.

I was flying solo today and taking a bit of a rest between the slow move from my tumbledown shack in Xindian, to my exclusive new bolt hole also in Xindian, where the Bao family fear we are bringing the tone of the area down.

Transporting my huge collection of horse brasses and Americana has been monotonous work, so a hop across the border to Yonghe’s Hola Caribbean Kitchen was just what the doctor ordered. This dear reader is how I found the community existed.

Taiwan has a dwindling number of diplomatic ties at the time of writing, having lost quite a few in the last couple of years to those pesky fellows over the strait. I’d been hoping to find at least ONE restaurant that covered the cuisine of her allies, but alas I’d so far only been able to find single dishes in random places.

As the name suggests the place has Latin cuisine, and (currently) five of the 17 countries with relations are Belize, Honduras, Guatemala, Paraguay and Nicaragua. Since 2017, we’ve lost Panama, Dominican Republic and El Salvador in the region. So I came to this place as a kind of pick and mix of Latin food, and tried my best to limit it to one place where possible. I’d already had Venezuelan, and Mexican and Peruvian will also feature soon-ish on this list, so there went nothing.

two languages I can’t read, plus phone number I only just noticed.

The place itself is quite small, nice feeling to it and it being Wednesday lunchtime, I was the only person there. The owner greeted me and turned out to be pretty fascinating. He is Taiwanese but spent a lot of his working life in Central/ South America. He has amazingly good English, but it took me a few seconds to compute because he also has the Taiwanese accent as well as a Latin twang when speaking English. You know the one I mean, where to native speakers of English when you hear Latin Americans speak English it sort of sounds like they are permanently confused.

Anyway, I posed this question to, now he did tell me his name, but I forgot it straight away because he said it too fast and I didn’t want to be rude and ask again. It was a case of “My name is <woooosh>.I asked him why there are no specifically, say, Honduran restaurants and he told me that because all Latin food is pretty similar and the people over there don’t really care that much. I ordered sancocho which was done in the Puerto Rican style, across Latin America it is served with chicken but in Puerto Rico it is served with beef. As you can see from the photo, it is not too intimidating, stewed beef with rice and a few veg. I enjoyed it and he said it is pretty popular with Taiwanese customers because it does look like something they’d eat. He has run the place for about six years and said he has changed the menu several times due to Taiwanese tastes, giving the example that red beans are a dessert here, but salty in Central America. This proved too strange to locals so had to take off a few dishes here and there. He did quite subtly say however that he can and will make some stuff off menu if Latin Americans want it, so I’d love to go back there with someone more in the know and gives the secret handshake.

Because I didn’t have much money on me so I couldn’t sample a lot of the menu, I went straight to the drinks. Aztec chocolate. Not something you see every day, so I figured why not. He warned me it was spicy and that he served it quite weak, but as you’ve probably noticed by now I’m game for anything.

Well, he wasn’t kidding. When it arrived, the smell of I think cinnamon was pretty strong and I thought, this won’t be so bad… It was unusual. Definitely chocolate but was designed by the Mayans and Aztecs specifically to make you sweat, and it did its job perfectly.

I couldn’t stay long, but can tell he has a fair few good yarns in his repertoire. I will be back for sure, not only for the menu we can see, but also the one we can’t, provided of course I can con a Latin American person to come with me.

Sancocho 280

Aztec chocolate 100

Address No. 213, Anle Road, Zhonghe District, New Taipei City, 235

Best MRT: Yongan Market then about 5min walk across the park

As an aside, I don’t normally mention anything outside the food or who I’m with, but today while going there I saw an old lady practicing the tango in the park. It is a cliché to see old people in Asia exercising in the park I know, but this lady was fierce, absolutely badass, like she had just stepped out of Argentina.

Taipei, still surprising me after all these years…

Italian Food-Gusto’s Market of Taste

“What I hate is a story with a dame or a dame with a story. 30 Years I’ve walked this beat. Every gin joint, two bit floozy and doper from here to Pasadena has been put away by me. The answers are not in the bottom of a glass of whiskey. I got the call at 10:30 and hell; I knew this was going to be some meeting”

Or thoughts similar were probably going through the clichéd 1950’s mind of one Det. Mickey String who agreed to meet with me today for lunch at Gusto’s Market of Taste. Reading his thoughts you can see there is no logic, no coherent structure or anything even approaching a narrative, which may explain why he is a particularly useless detective. He was kicked off the force many years ago, and still uses the title “Detective” though “washed up” would be a better description. He came to me after reading my blog, hoping to find some leads for a case he was working on.

Looking disheveled and sweaty after sleeping on his desk for three nights, he said

“But I’ve seen your blog, you get out there. You see people. You can help me finally crack this case”

Playing along, I said “So, what do you have?”

“There’s been a double moi-der. I got the bodies of two Texan Oil Magnates in the trunk of a beat up turquoise 1952 Chevy Deluxe, a stolen manuscript and a tapir with a limp. It all adds up to a WHOLE lot of nuthin’. Capisce? “

“I’ll see what I can do”

First, I have to apologize to my readers in lockdown who are surviving on a combination of ramen and hardtack rations and living vicariously through my blog at the interesting foods on offer (I’m looking chiefly at YOU Stryker Leach). Today is not so interesting to you guys in that regard, but it is something I had to get done (besides for us, this IS kinda special). I had decided at the beginning of this thing to seek out more exotic foods around Taipei and to be honest, Italian food, or approximations of it, is all over the bleedin’ shop. I’d asked many of the foodie types, who warm brandy in their glasses the correct way, if they knew about anything unusual- I drew a blank there. I also asked real life Italian man Dr. Colossus if he had heard about anything that was bit outside the norm here, he said he wasn’t sure, but asked the question why would he look for it in Taiwan anyway? Which is a fair point. Quite by chance, Mickey String himself quite ironically clued me into an Italian delicatessen that he had been meaning to try, and it is unique enough to qualify for my nonsense. As a gruff voiced New Yorker, it is mandated by law that he has to have either some Italian or Jewish in him, and this place was likely to remind him of home. So off we went.

Well what can I say?

This place is good, Martin Scorsese wise guy movie good. It’s mostly a place that does wholesale and sells cheese and stuff (pictures below) to professional kitchens and home cooks alike, and it is located in the middle of a busy day market. It is a little bit blink and you’d miss it from the outside, but inside has a nice atmosphere. We decided to split an order of the cold cuts (smallest size at 440NT) with cheese and honey, and I had a pancetta truffle panini (320) and he ordered the chorizo (300). I could tell that the detective was enjoying the change to his diet which usually consists of cold coffee, slightly warmer cheap Bourbon, cigarettes and other 50’s foods from roadside diners.

Totally cannot fault it, absolutely bang on, and well worth the effort of going to that part of town (if you are from out of town- it is near Xingtian Temple which is a less touristy temple you can visit). We had coffee as well but I didn’t get a picture because all I can really say there, is yes it was good and it is a brown drink-usually served hot.

We chatted about some hot button topics of the day like the virus, what we can do if our hair is dull and lifeless and a few things he hadn’t considered in the case.

“Have you considered Tangiers?” This raised an eyebrow from Det. String.

As I left, I wished my not so hard-bitten friend well on the case, he extended his forefinger and thumb imitating a gun and clicked his tongue and winked at the same time, which I assume is a common thing from gumshoes unless TV has lied to me. I also hoped to God that the tapir was OK.

Website: Very extensive and probably a good read for Italian food buffs.

https://gustotw.oddle.me/en_TW/

Address: 10491, Taiwan, 台北市, 中山區, 龍江路370巷47號, 1樓

Closest MRT: Possibly Xingtian Temple, but I bussed it from Xindian taking 642 or 643 to the Veg Market and then walked.

Cambodian food- at the restaurant with no English name.

We are all familiar with Thai food (which I’m yet to cover because it is too easy to find here), and many of us assume the food round them parts is essentially the same. As Cambodia represents a bit of a blind spot for me, and I figured there must be some here somewhere because of the high number of South East Asian migrant workers of various stripes, I set about finding some. My former colleague at Unnecessary Targeting Ltd, Mr. Music, informed me that the bakeries in Auckland are generally Cambodian owned, and by his experience their food is quite sour, which to his mind that is a good thing. It was no easy feat to find such a place. I did find one with an English name, but the reviews were pretty bad and in a more difficult spot to get to in town. So I opted for this one, which I’m going to have to call Cambodia Restaurant. The outside is pictured in the header so if you can read Chinese, you’ll know it. If you don’t, just follow the instructions at the bottom. The menu is also only in Chinese which could be a problem for some (including me).

Fortunately today, I had with me Crispy Pete, the world’s cleverest man, who can do pretty much anything, including reading/speaking Chinese well (which is not that special over here, true, but he can use about three language systems by my count). We are actually scared that he will be sat at work one day trying to decide something like if there is any merit in early theories on cross pollination in the Hindu Kush or discrepancies in the life cycle of the monkfish (possibly both) and he will suddenly implode, consumed by his own intelligence. As that day has not yet arrived, he remains a steadfast dining companion.

In what was probably a change of pace for Crispy on a weekday, which I presume is translating Homer’s Odyssey into Nordic runes, and then back into old English, I managed to coax him out of his library, by making him follow a trail of Elizabethan sonnets and difficult math equations so we could have food which was a bit off the map so to speak. In fact, it turned out Cambodia Restaurant was around the corner from his gaff, and he had been there before some years earlier. Whether or not it had changed hands in that time, we had no idea. He did remember enjoying it, however. So, still game, we went in.

In my experience of these things, not having an English menu can be a double edged sword. If it is Chinese and other country language (say Khmer) that is a sign that people from the old country go there and it is probably a safe bet. If it is only in Chinese you run the risk of it being “I’ve been to Cambodia once, so I know”and thus, you get a regular chicken leg and rice dish.

After a bit of a natter about how messy it is in the US right now compared to the calm of Taiwan (he had just returned) , we ordered. Here is the relevant part of the menu

Chinese only but if you are adventurous, just try it.

For non-Chinese readers, the first section is salad and we opted for beef salad. As I had suspected it was very Thai like, very enjoyable, not sweet and also had noodles as its base. Could have been a meal on its own. Then came the Amok pork, (which as per usual I forgot to get a picture of. I’m such a professional- please hire me) which was more like an Indian curry in consistency but tasted like a cross between the best parts of Thai and Vietnamese food. Gorgeous! Completing the trinity, there was a deepish fried chicken leg which I did get a picture of. Again, fantastic stuff. I should point out that CP has visited Cambodia and felt that the food here was pretty good, and it was cheap too. Three dishes came to 340NT so 170NT each.

The décor of this particular place is cheap and cheerful, artwork of Angkor Wat etc, which I take to be the Cambodian restaurant equivalent of those horrible metallic cups you get in Thai restaurants. It is very much a “lunchtime for the workers” type of place rather than an “occasion” restaurant if you get my meaning, but very good for what it is. And for an average of about 100NT (3USD) a dish, not bad at all.

out of focus chicken leg, better in real life

I’m unlikely to go again, but only for the fact that it is a bit out of the way for a general lunch for 100NT type place, and there thousands of such places around Taipei. It would probably cost me about that to travel from my new house to there anyway, so would be a bit strange. But if you live in the environs of Taipei Arena, can read Chinese (or have someone with you who can), and have a taste for adventure, go for it. Just don’t expect anything other than “I like to go there for lunch sometimes”.

As we bid farewell, I left CP with his vicissitudes of Taiwan and The US and came back to witter on WordPress.

Nearest MRT: Taipei Arena

No. 3, Lane 6, Lane 133, Section 4, Nanjing East Road

* I had to delay this visit though due to the fact that Crispy had returned from the US just (mere hours) before the borders to Taiwan were closed, and he had to do some extra quarantine measures before he could come out socially*.

Bhutanese Food Bhutan Café

My run back from Kazakhstan took a little longer than I expected but as I have a legal right to remain in Taiwan, I was able to get in without any issues at the border.

In all seriousness, I am hoping I can keep this blog going due to the current situation vis-à-vis economic meltdown/ global crisis. The creative and hospitality industries have been particularly hard hit, and as I’m searching out some of the more leftfield places which are in even more danger than ever because of their niche place in the market, I worry for their sakes (far more than mine) that their businesses survive.

OK back to the real reason I get up in the morning. Obscure foods in the Taipei area.

Bhutan. One of those places you know is pretty secretive, pretty Buddhist and looks like a destination you’d like to go to (but you have probably got it mixed up with Nepal, because they’re both mountainous, in roughly the same place geographically and look nice in photos). It has a nice flag it… hmmm something, something, something.

An alternative name for the country is “The Land of the Thunder Dragon” which, had that been the name of a movie, my 12 year old self would have lapped it up. Having been raised at that point on anime, video game lore, US action films and Z-list Godfrey Ho productions/ rubbish ninja films- I would have expected magic swords, special moves and all kinds of cool. So too, would today’s eating companion.

A fellow traveler through mental illness and the martial arts, The Prophet of Miltown has been a stalwart of the 52 Foods Project from the very beginning, and twisted my arm so hard to write down my adventures, that I had to counter with some wicked chi sao (sticky hands) that he couldn’t predict. He was actually present in the first installment as he is married to Miss V but took a back seat, as we let the two Canadians battle it out for who could be the chattiest.

Once again, our lives have become meat festivals, so Bhutanese food was a good choice as it is all vegetarian. I was a little hesitant to include it as one of the 52, because the restaurant advertises itself as “Bhutanese food with an Italian flair” so, would possibly not be the most authentic.

As we were getting closer to the restaurant, I sensed a change in The Prophet like he had an ulterior motive for coming along. As we entered the place, I noticed a somewhat elderly man on a massage table in the corner, being massaged by two ladies half his age. In a very badly dubbed voice The Prophet said:

“I came here to see the Iron Gentleman, but I now see you are busy”

In an equally badly dubbed voice the Iron Gentleman stroking his long beard, replied

“Hehehe, let me toy with your ambitions”

Then it all kicked off because, after all, you can’t stop The Prophet.

In reality, I got there a bit earlier, and got a few shots of the place. As you can see from the photos, it is very nicely decorated with ornaments and whatnot from Bhutan. The Prophet would later comment that it was exactly like it should be- reminders of home and not too overdone. I sat down to find the most Bhutanese food I could find on the menu as I had done previously with the AMP in KGB Burgers. The Prophet arrived, and was in the mood to go a bit experimental. Here is the menu

I went with the Ema Dashi a spicy stew made with cheese (and rice), he went with spaghetti which I forgot to take a picture of. We both got meal sets, which included salad, soup and a drink.

Ema Dashi (not including rice bowl because you’ve seen rice before)

Salad was salady, good for what it is, but notable for the fact it had guava in it (First time I’d seen that). Today’s soup was pumpkin, you may think that photo was me getting all arty, but was in fact an example of “Gosh darned, I forgot to take a photo”. All fine and dandy, there.

The main meal, was great (again) while we both had different meals, we could both see there was something there that was something different and clearly made it different to other foods we’ve had, but couldn’t begin to explain why it was different. I would also add that they weren’t kidding when they said the Ema Dashi is spicy. To my everlasting shame, I’m not that good with very spicy food, probably because I never cared much for rugby. And, although I know there are ladies present, I have to admit that once in an Indian restaurant I was sweating after eating butter chicken. Some English guy I am huh?

Next came drinks, which were in a word: unusual. PoM went for the sweet Bhutanese tea, and I went for the suja- salty butter tea. Sweet tea= awesome an unusual flavor that again like the rest of the meal had a flavor that you couldn’t quite explain. Sort of like you are trying to catch somebody but they are always two steps ahead- you just can’t quite do it.

Now, suja. A couple of hours later and I’m still trying to think how I could talk about it. The lady who runs the restaurant gave a brief explanation that the Bhutanese like to add rice to their tea and showed me the procedure. I don’t think there is a word in our language that can accurately describe it. I posed this point to The Prophet, who after taking a sip, was equally baffled. It’s sweet (kind of) creamy (definitely) savory but not scary. I loved it and would encourage anyone to try it, but when you do, see if you can describe it in one word. I don’t think it can be done.

Would I return? Definitely- it is a bit out of the way for me (even though it is in the centre of Downtown Taipei, but not an area I go to.) As you can see from the photos it was only us two in the place, so I hope that the developments worldwide don’t affect them because it was be a crying shame to lose a place like this.

Cost 504NT ( I went over my budget by 4NT, but I later found 4NT down the back of the sofa so it was OK)

Address: Alley 6 Lane 421, Guangfu South Road. Nearest MRT would be Sun Yet San Memorial Hall but it’s about 10mins walk from there.

German Food at Bauernhaus

Last night was a special event held by the cheeky wee scamps over at the TW Foodies Facebook page, and hosted by chief scamp AVD. This was the second such event held under the TW Foodies banner, and only my first visit. I am a fan of German food especially sausage, big, man-sized sized sausage, (Oh Lord, not again) and good bread.

Many of our party were unknown to me except AVD, to my left was movie and noted history buff Boo Lion who was back for another round. To my right were the Deep South’s most effective Drill Instructor Mizz Patty Mudd and Doctor Colossus. I will just say that novel you wanted to write, or even that symphony that needs finishing, get Mizz Mudd on board and it will be finished in days. Hours even. Dr. Colossus is Italian and recently re-confirmed to me that are indeed Italian grandmothers who cannot cook. The good doctor made no mention of his own grandmothers, so I can only surmise that they too can cook well and are a credit to all nonnas the length and breadth of Italy.

After Mizz Mudd forced the whole room (patrons and wait staff alike) to do 50 push ups on our knuckles because “reasons” actually does it even matter? What Mizz Mudd says goes. After that and eating bread we were served goulash as pictured here.

Early readers may remember that Boo Lion is a vegetarian so his was more mushroom-based compared to our beefy broth. No complaints here, and in fact within my sub section of the group, it was one of the highlights. Next up was the salad, which comprised of two options, the Caesar salad (which I didn’t get a picture of- but the lady across from me said she liked it) or the Tomato and Onion which was amazing. As you may see from the photo it was essentially just those two ingredients with a generous helping of balsamic vinegar- wonderful stuff. I am not a lover of salad by any stretch of the imagination.

Main course time and we were served Wiener schnitzel, two Käsekrainer (cheese sausages) and Badische Schupfnudeln (Potato noodles) which are some of the most German of words possible next to “Jugendherbergen” and “Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte” or the sentence “Ich habe im meinem Beruf Schule eine jahren sitzenbleiben”. I am in need of protein at the moment, so a main course that was essentially all meat was good for me, some more veg on the plate would have been preferable- but it is German cuisine. As the weather is turning to spring, it could be a bit heavy for some right now. In the dead of winter, however, I can see it being just the thing. For dessert, we had Apple Pudding Cake- as a dessert fiend I loved it, it wasn’t the most generous of helpings, but not everybody has as sweet a tooth as me.

During the course of the evening, topics included some virus or something which is affecting the world, Taiwanese ghost houses, and sci fi. A nice antidote to what is going on elsewhere for me in the Meat World.

Would I go again? Hmmmm it is in Muzha, which, while down the road from me, is sort of like the Bermuda Triangle. I never remember where anything is, or how it comes together. Maybe I’ve been hypnotized to forget about anything in Muzha except the zoo. I did like it, but couldn’t be sure if vegetarians would have as good a time as I did (though it was a special event, and maybe not representative of the menu as a whole). So maybe I’ll get Mrs. Bao to tag along because she does like a good pork knuckle. <Insert innuendo here>

I actually submitted this to Mizz Mudd in handwritten form before I typed it up, but as she doesn’t speak German well and was unhappy with my penmanship, I now have to go on a 12000km run as punishment. Assuming I make it back from Kazakhstan by next weekend, I’ll be back.

Menu for the evening came to 800NT

Beer and wine were available at 200NT a glass or bottle. Fruit Beers at 250NT. I’m not a drinker so I’m not sure how they were.

Location

No. 35, Lane 220, Section 2, Xinglong Road, Wenshan District, Taipei City, 116

WanFang Hospital MRT is your best bet

Wow 21% complete!

Venezuelan Food- Sabor Venezolano week one Brazilian food- Yuca week two (this will make sense later)

Here I am back again trying to work out how to begin one of these review snippet things without it following a tiresome (even for me) format. This week’s effort is in in two halves. I was walking back from my new/old job where I was doing paperwork and I happened upon this Venezuelan place. I wasn’t in the mood for writing up then, because I had souse to devour, and I only had one thing so I came back again this week.

At first, all I noticed was the menu rather than the honking great sign which said SABOR VENEZOLANO and a quick, discreet look on my phone told me that arepas are Colombian. The clue is in the name, but I wanted to appear windswept and interesting so after encountering the three ladies in the shop and asking if they were indeed Colombian, I found they were actually, Venezuelan, Paraguayan and Brazilian. A good start then, check me out- Mr. Culturally-Sensitive.

I went for the chicken and cheese arepas last week, cheap great and street foodie and easy to eat while walking the streets. I was intrigued by the mondongo on the menu, but didn’t look it up because I didn’t want to spoil whatever it was going to be. Because, c’mon man, the word is great. I wanted to try it for the same reason that “spatchcock” is an awesome word.

So I went in search of mondongo. It turned out it wasn’t available today, and the restaurant had confusingly become another one called Yuca. So it seems, depending on the day, you are either eating at Sabor Venezolano or Yuca. As this was a chance to also try Brazilian fare, and to be able to do a direct comparison with arepas I had chicken tapioca, which has the same portability factor as the arepas. I was knackered from not sleeping/ medication issues so I sat outside on the chair and table that they have set aside. At the same time I was trying to appear anonymous after my faux pas one week earlier; however it is slightly difficult to be anonymous when you are a 6ft 4.5in shaven headed white boy from the UK, sporting 60’s mod/football hooligan chic. I do tend to stick in peoples’ memory.

The chicken tapioca itself was nice. As you can see from the photo, the crepe was blue, which I’d say was pretty unusual. Of the two, I’d say I preferred this over the arepas, but both are tip top.

The mondongo will have to wait until after work next week. The mystery lives on, though I suspect it is the stewed rice thing you can see in the photo. But, hey- I’m a romantic, and there are few true mysteries left in the world.

I was also informed by the Sabor Venezolano Facebook page they do events from time to time including barbecues with tastes from South America- I’m sure if I have chance, I’d go along to that because they are clearly not just playing restaurant. So yeah, thumbs up once again. I haven’t had anything that disagreed with me yet, so don’t think I’m just saying everything is fine. There is still a lot of time to go yet, and I haven’t got to the one I fear the most. I have to be fair and try everything you see.

Here is the menu:

Address: no 1 Lane 137 Shida Road, Da’an District, Taipei

MRT: Taipower building MRT Exit 3

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Address: 10491, Taiwan, 台北市, 中山區, 龍江路370巷47號, 1樓

Closest MRT: Possibly Xingtian Temple, but I bussed it from Xindian taking 642 or 643 to the Veg Market and then walked.

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